Starting Conversation, Icebreakers, Small Talk

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Hi! How are you?

I'm Dave Sconda.

Today we we're talking about being proactive and using small talk.

Being proactive using small talk, also icebreakers which is very important, two very important part of your communication skill.

Small talk involves being proactive, somebody who can start conversations with somebody else is proactive.

You have to have enthusiasm, when you are involved in small talk, and for those of you who say:

I don't know what to say.

I don't know how to start a conversation.

Ah!

I don't know what to do more.

That's where the icebreakers come in.

The icebreakers are phrases, sentences, one-liners that you use to start conversation with a stranger, usually, with the stranger. Doesn't have to be, but what we're talking about breaking the ice that usually involves somebody we have not spoken to before.

Okay, most of us want to be better conversationalist, including me.

I want to be a better conversationalist. I want to be able to talk to people better and better.

We will learn skills for doing this.

It's important to recognize that a good conversationalist.

Once you have that skill you feel good about yourself, you feel strong.

You feel confident. That's the type of feelings you need to rise up.

Whatever you want to do in life a good conversationalist can raise high in life, can achieve high goals.

That kind of person has more opportunity.

That kind of person achieves more in life and that's what I want for you.

So let's work on this together!

Sometimes when we're around other people we don't know so well, we feel a little uncomfortable.

Okay, its natural most of us do. Once you build your conversation skill you will be able to feel comfortable in almost any situation.

And you're thinking right now:

No not me I can't do that.

Yes, you can do this. Anyone can do this. Okay, so that should be your first goal.

Think about it to be a great conversationalist.

You have to say these things to yourself and really goal for them.

Okay, now let's talk about icebreaker.

I can mention earlier, icebreaker is the first thing you say to somebody.

Usually that you don't know. Okay, this can be something funny based on the situation you're in and all has to do with your situation because of course if I'm at a party maybe I'll say certain things that I would not say in a classroom.

If it's the first class meeting and I'm trying to start a conversation with one of my classmates has to do with the situation, has to do with perhaps what you have in common with the other people.

Alright one thing that's very important about this icebreaker thing is the icebreaker should be positive. Your comment should be positive.

If you say something negative as an icebreaker, unless it's funny, it's usually not very effective. Because you, you're starting something with negative energy most people don't feel comfortable around that and don't want to be around there.

So that person may just walk away from you.

What else some topics or icebreakers, the number one topic in the world, for icebreakers, number one topic is the weather.

It's something everybody can talk about. Anywhere in the world you know.

What's a little challenging as you go to try it.

Keep it positive, so for example:

Isn't the nature beautiful outside!

Look at the sky, the blue is so beautiful!

I love the springtime in this city. I could go on and on, you know, I love the warm weather.

Or

You know I love it when it rains. When it rains I just wanna have a cup of coffee and read a good book.

You could say something positive just about any type of weather situation.

Another topic: compliments a great icebreaker.

You could say:

I like your shirt.

You could ask him perhaps where they got it.

I really like the fabric you know and then there's a topic that perhaps more women would use that man and things like this but you could complement anybody on anything.

If it's in a classroom I can complement another student.

Hey, I really liked what you said in class, I agree with you and I had another fiveand the conversation starts going.

You see how it works.

News is another good icebreaker but remember the challenge is to keep it positive.

The stock market was up today. I think the economy is getting back in shape.

Okay, that's positive.

Common interest: so let's say I'm a college, I'm in a classroom while our common interest is being a college student. Perhaps the subject is matter of this class. If it's a science class I could make a comment about science.

Okay, if I'm at a convention for attorneys I'm going to make a comment about legal issues. Something has to do with the law or the profession of being a lawyer.

Remember always be positive always be sincere.

Don't make something up just for an icebreaker. You need to be sincere.

If you're not sincere, meaning truthful, people will know you're just lying.

Most people can see through that very easily.

So you wanna be sincere and you wanna always show respect for the other person.

Review:

- Be proactivetake action into your own hands

- Be enthusiastic

- Icebreakersthe first thing you say to someone (always positive, often situational)

Topics: weather, compliments, news, common interest.