The following trailer is rated 'S' for spoilers.
Based on the book everyone's mom read on the beach comes the best-acted, coolest-looking,
most well-written Lifetime movie ever made:
Meet Nick and Amy, two successful good-looking people in love.
She's the basis for a beloved series of children's books
and he's a caring son who moves to Missouri to take care of his sick mother.
They seem like they're the perfect couple, but there's just one problem:
Settle in for the film that had audiences everywhere wondering if their significant
other was planning to kill them,
in this cold-hearted look at how all men are pigs or how all women are monsters.
Either way, you probably shouldn't see it on the first date.
"I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brains."
Ben Affleck stars as a guy everyone loves to hate.
"Asshole."
When his wife Amy disappears, he'll respond by acting as guilty as humanly possible
and banging the hot chick from the Blurred Lines video.
Rosamund Pike shines as the most well-organized crazy person ever,
a murderer who's sick and tired of acting cool just to please a man
even though, unlike the book, we never see her do anything cool.
Ever.
"All we did was resent each other and try to control each other."
Follow along as she escapes her cheating husband by
befriending the local pregnant idiot so she can steal her pee to fake a pregnancy,
staging a crime scene with gallons of her own blood,
creating a five year diary of fake abuse stories,
then planning to kill herself so she can frame him for her murder...
instead of, I don't know, divorcing him?
Experience the film critics are still debating for being either pro- or anti-feminist
even though its message boils down to:
don't have sex with crazy people,
a lesson that Neil Patrick Harris clearly didn't pay attention to.
"A girl is allowed to be crazy as long as she is equally hot. You want a girl to be
Oops.
Witness director David Fincher at the height of his powers,
as he reveals each twist and turn with his trademark futurisms, like
"Life: I don't remember the point."
haze,
and general f***ed-upedness.
Wait, is she putting that in her...
So, settle in for a nearly three hour movie
that will keep you on the edge of your seat,
until Ben Affleck finally gets his revenge by...
staying with her to start a family?
Starring...
Your Wife Probably Wants To Kill You.
"I swear, you two are the most f***ed up people I've ever known."