the director and studio who surprised everyone with Guardians of The Galaxy.
Comes a cool looking, super fun, laugh out loud.
But ultimately kind of forgettable sequel.
What? It's still better than all the other Marvel part twos.
Blast off again with Marvel's Space Avengers. A team of misfits who learned how to work together in their first movie.
Then turn back an A-hole so they can learn it all over again.
"You're like a professional assh*le or what?"
In this playful action comedy where the heroes never really get hurt.
The Danger never really feels that imminent.
And the jokes definitely don't fall flat, but let's be honest, They aren't as funny as the characters think they are.
(laughing)
Hey, let me decide when to laugh. All right?
Catch up with all your favorite heroes like...
Star-Lord, who discovers he's the son of a God and a moron.
"Well I don't know what you're talking about but I like the way you say it."
Gamora, who teaches the strong silent badass trope
to become a strong silent badass with the more interesting sister.
Rocket, whose eyes don't work... Apparently.
"Damn it. I'm using my left eye?"
"I'm using my wrong eye again aren't I?"
"Yeah that's how eyesight works you stupid raccoon."
Newcomer Mantis, with the power of getting roasted by everyone.
"You are horrifying to look at."
"I never thought she'd be able to do it with as weak and skinny as she appears to be."
"I'm imagining being with you physically."
"I'm certainly grateful to be ugly."
And Drax, the once tragic warrior, who's become an aggressively dumb sex freak?
"I like a woman with some meat on her bones."
"My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother."
"It would make my nether regions engorged."
Look, you have a good thing going with Drax. Don't take it too far and urkel your best character.
Prepare for an episode of "My Two Dads"... in space!
In a film that's so high on friends being your real family, you'll swear you're watching a "Fast And Furious" movie.
Space Dad One is Ego, The Living Planet of exposition.
As he proves everything's better with Kurt Russell.
Making Ego the Living Planet grounded and relatable.
Until he goes full Marvel Villain and becomes a blue alien made of sky beams who wants to rule the universe.
While Space Dad Two proves that everything is better with Michael Rooker...
As Yondu is retconned into a good guy who just wanted to be a good pappy...
All to create maximum emotional impact when he's killed off in the most tragic Marvel Death since...
Uhhhhhmmmm......
Eh. She was in her 90s so. He came back...
Quicksilver? Eh...
Wow. I guess it's Yondu by default.
So get ready for a great time at the theater as they bring back everything you loved about the first movie.
The music, the slow-mo walks, and the insane visuals.
To the things you didn't think could come back, like the laughing at the dumb name bit.
"Star-Lord."
"Who?"
"Your name is... It's Taserface?!"
Rocket having someone steal a fake body part for him.
"I was just kidding about the leg. What? No I... (chuckles) I thought it would be funny. Was it funny?"
"He's not gonna know! (laughs) Where his eyes is! (laughs again)"
And undercutting most of the serious dramatic moments with jokes even the emotional climax of the film.
"To find the form that best suited you."
It's okay Marvel. We've been following these movies for 10 years now.
You can let us go without a chuckle for 10 minutes.
"Finally I get to be the father I've always wanted to be."
"Excuse me. Gotta take a whiz."
"It's called a Zune. It's what everybody's listening to on Earth nowadays."
Uh oh. The Zune is from the early 2000s.
I don't think Star-Lords is gonna be happy when he finds out what happened to Rock & Roll