Honest Trailers - 300

247

Can you believe it?

We've made 50 of these dumb things!

From the guy who made Batman comics cool again

and the guy wholl probably make Batman movies suck again

comes a film based on a graphic novel

based on an older film

based on ancient Greek propaganda

based on a true story...

300.

Before the release of the unnecessary sequel on a boat

revisit the movie that made guys everywhere feel really out of shape.

Meet the Spartans, a society built on reason,

sit ups,

and child abuse.

Led by Leonidas, cinema’s yelliest king

"This is Sparta!"

"Spartans!"

"No mercy!"

"No!"

"Regroup!"

"Stay on!"

"Tonight we dine in hell!"

Who hails from the Scottish part of Greece?

"We've been sharing our culture with you all morning."

Watch as Leonidas and his 300 closest gym buddies stand against the might of Xerxes,

a hairless giant with an entire jewelry store on his face

and a voice that sounds like he’s in the witness protection program.

"I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories."

Lace up your sandals for a blend of historical truth and Zack Snyder nonsense,

mixing

real Greek battle formations

qith crazy ninja spin moves,

real Spartan councils

with sexy stripper oracles,

and actual Persian fighting units

With mutant Persian goat men? Huh?

Oil up for the most confusing thing to happen to teenage boys since calculus class,

full of homoerotic undertones like

Men wearing thongs

Men getting speared with phallic objects

Men holding hands

Men holding men tenderly from behind

Men letting it hang

Men getting all wet in the rain

Men getting all sweaty on the beach.

Men playing two flutes at the same time

Men saying things like this:

“A fine thrust.”

or this:

"Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet if you will but kneel at mine."

And a male-to-female nipple ratio of 600 to 4.

Man, I haven’t seen a movie this deep in the closet since Top Gun!

"I am dangerous!"

So get pumped for a dumb movie that’s only cool because of Zack Snyder’s bag of overused

visual tricks

featuring...

Dramatic falling stuff

Instagram filters

And

suuuper

sloooow

moootion.

Come on! I might as well be reading the book!

Starring...

Gerard Butt

Nick Fury

6 through 300

Dhalsim

Emperor Herpetine

Hey, You Guys

Cersei Lannister?

McNulty?

and Michael Fassbender?!

300

One cool looking movie and now he gets to make Batman vs. Superman? Great.

Thanks for watching our 50th Honest Trailer.

Who knows - maybe someday we'll make it to 300!

Hehe, get it?

Ugh. Please don't forget

to subscribe.

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